Have you met my boyfriend — I mean, my fiancé?
Who needs a living boy when you have a vampire bae
He’s not the kind you take hometo open arms and hearts
But when he gave me his skull ring, I knew we’d never part

He’s oil, I’m holy water
I’m the chosen one, he’s a cold-blooded killer
But we’ll be cozy forever
in a crypt with a picket fence
We’ve got nothing in common
I like doily pillows, he sleeps in a coffin
And though it might interfere with my calling
Somehow this just makes sense
Doesn’t it?

I’m ninety-eight point six-ish, he’s room temp til the end
But y’know we heat up real quick cause he’s my ride-or-undead
I can see him in our future whittling my stakes
And every night I’ll feed him
Blood from a mug til we’re old and grey
I mean, blood from a mug til *I’M* old & grey

He’s oil, I’m holy water
I’m the chosen one, he’s a cold-blooded killer
But we’ll be cozy forever
in a crypt with a picket fence
We’ve got nothing in common
I like doily pillows, he sleeps in a coffin
And though it might interfere with my calling
Somehow this just makes sense
Doesn’t it?

Spike, so dreamy
Spike, your trench coat
Spike, don’t ever change
Spike, peroxide
Spike, your black nails
make me go insane
With the love that pounds inside my chest
And you breathe me down like a Morley’s cigarette

He’s oil, I’m holy water
I’m the chosen one, he’s a cold-blooded killer
But we’ll be cozy forever
in a crypt with a picket fence
We’ve got nothing in common
I like doily pillows, he sleeps in a coffin
And though it might interfere with my calling
Somehow this just makes sense
Doesn’t it?